Eliana Wiseman

Day 1: A New Beginning

Meet our new freshman—Eliana Wiseman! College is quite overwhelming when first adjusting to its culture, and Eliana isn’t immune to it. She describes the extremely long food lines, finding her first community of friends, and her experience after Fall Bible Conference.

My first ever weeks at Cedarville largely brought me peace that surpasses all understanding for the first time in my life. It surprised me how calm I was during my move in day and the first weekend. Right away I faced a few obstacles that just did not affect me much at all. One of those obstacles was not eating a real dinner on my first night here. I heard warnings to get food early the first week, but when they say early, they really mean early. I took two steps in, a look around at the line for dinner, and two steps back out. My first night was punctuated with dinner eaten in my dorm room. While that is not the most aesthetic outcome, I was not discouraged about how my first day ended. The following week was busy and crazy in many ways, but I handled it just as smoothly. 

  The only time I have felt conflicted so far was the night before classes started. The feeling came on at the end of Fall Bible Conference. We had an altar call and all these people were going to the front. Everyone was clapping and fired up for God. That was so amazing to see, but I was also overwhelmed. I felt like God was trying to tell me something that I could not hear clearly. I was so far in my own head that I knew I would not get far dissecting it unless I could find a quiet place to reflect. 

  I went out to the lake after the Bible Conference away from the noise and just sat there for a long time. I knew I wanted to talk about what I was feeling, but it was also evident that none of my friends back home would be able to help. I was blessed that I have family here to talk to, and it was extremely helpful to just say it all out loud. I didn’t conclude anything that night, and I still don’t have all the answers. I don’t know how much comfort this is if you’re feeling confusion for any reason but know that you’re not alone in that confusion.  

   Even though I’m lucky enough to have established relationships at Cedarville, I had also met so many amazing and understanding people here that would have loved to listen to me. My Cedarville community is so positive. Whether the community I have now is temporary until I find lasting friendships, or I’ve found my greatest long-term friends already, I don’t know. I know I have people to eat dinner with. I know I have upperclassmen to help me with things. I also know I have people who want to glorify God with me. If I’m seeking to glorify God, then I know everything else will fall into place. 

“Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt His name together.” ~ Psalm 34:3

Day 42 : A Sense of Homesickness

Eliana talks about how she is getting involved on campus through theatre and dorm life. However, the many things she is starting to enjoy do not deny the difficult transition from home to school.

I’ve been getting a lot of news from home lately, and it’s hard to see all the things I’m missing out on. I always feel most like myself when I’m with my whole family when we’re all joking, or my brother and I are fighting. It’s difficult to hear about the things that go on at home after they happen. My little brother is growing and doing new things, and I feel like I’m missing so much of him. I know I can’t stand still forever, but change is hard. I feel happy being here though, even if that means missing out on things back home. 

I’m getting involved behind the scenes with the fall musical here. I think I’ll feel more myself when I’m back in the theater world, even if I’m not onstage like I’m used to. I saw a preview of it recently and met the cast, and it all looks amazing! I’m looking forward to helping with it.

My unit has gotten close these past weeks. We watched Cedarville’s Got Talent together, and after that some of us went stargazing late into the night. We all visit each other’s dorms and it’s like a little town with all these new friends in it. I owe it to those girls for being in such a positive state. If I didn’t have anyone to fall back on, I would be having a rougher time. In between the loud dinners at Chuck’s with thirty people there are quieter moments with just a few of us. 

Life here is not all sunshine though. I had the first exam in my math class. I walked into class, feeling confident in myself, until I encountered my longtime nemesis, Scantron test sheets. There’s something about those letter bubbles that just reeks of fear and the ACT. I ended up with a great grade, though. Getting the first big assignments in my classes behind me has given me confidence moving forward. 

I feel challenged here in more ways than one. There are hard and emotional times, but there are so many more happy and exciting times. I’m endeavoring to abide in the Lord when those hard times come and praising Him with the good. It’s more of a struggle than I’d like to admit, but I’m doing it. With this new goal, I feel better about what is coming up and what has been left behind.  

Day 283: Sophomore year

You know when you wake up late and the rest of the day you feel frazzled and thrown off? That is the feeling sophomore year has brought. My class schedule changed twice in the twenty-four hours before classes started, and I still haven’t caught up. I always feel like I have forgotten a class or an assignment when I have not. My friend groups have been shuffled around like a deck of cards. It’s like I’ve hopped into a slightly offset version of Cedarville.

I have a lot of project heavy classes this semester, and they remind me just how much college consists of a large amount of change and a small amount of underlying panic. Thank goodness for my roommate for being so sweet and supportive! I have never been more grateful to have a quiet, low stress environment to return to after a long day. She even helped me out with a last-minute film project!

After long days, I find myself in an editing studio for my audio class or in conversations about faith, feelings, and French fry shapes. This lifestyle takes a toll. It is worth it overall, though. The hours of sleep I get are low, but the amount of growth happening to me this semester is huge. I love when God places someone in proximity to me that I can so clearly help or who can so clearly help me. I am so grateful for my community this year.

So much has changed, and it is bittersweet. Change makes everything that stays constant more obvious, though. I know acceptance and a willingness to let go will serve me well, though it’s difficult. I am looking forward to this year and everything God has for me, even if it means good things are changing.

Day 297: Sophomore Year

My daily schedule is packed from morning to night, and I often don’t have the chance to go back to my room until late at night. Recently I was working on a film project in a group with two of my friends. That definitely took up a lot of time. It also gave me a lot of new experiences! I directed actors and filmed in the dining hall. My arms are still sore from holding a boom pole. The filming process went smoothly, and we sent it to our editor last week! I am so relieved to get that off of my plate!

On the other side of the creating process, I auditioned for a Christmas show off-campus this week and got in! My little brother is in it, too! I’ll get to see him more, which will definitely be a blessing. I can’t wait to get started on a different kind of project from my usual schoolwork!

I have had some setbacks in my classes and assignments. It’s hard to remember that I don’t control anything. I cannot rely on technology, time, or myself. The past two weeks have been noticeably more stressful. It has been hard staying positive, and I haven’t done a good job at it. I can tell when it affects my relationships. I don’t want to let my mood affect others. I worry that I need more help than others or I’m not catching on as quickly as I think I should be. Even when things don’t go as planned and add stress, it all ends up working out. God is so good to me, and I did nothing to deserve that.